One of the hottest new trends is social discovery — websites and smartphone apps that help people meet new people. Although there can be some overlap, these services differ from both dating sites like Match.com and traditional social networking sites like Facebook.  Unlike dating sites, they don’t necessarily focus on romantic involvement and they differ from social networks that are primarily designed to help people stay in touch with existing friends.

MeetMe is one of the leading social discovery sites and apps

Two popular sites (which also offer smartphone apps) are MeetMe and Tagged. Popular smartphone apps in this category include Highlight, Badoo, Skout and Banjo. Twitter is not primarily a social discovery tool, but — by default — everything you post is public and it can lead to private conversations and offline relationships.

Tagged, a leading social discovery site, helps people meet new friends

There are as many reasons to use a social discovery site as there are people but they include meeting people with like interests such as sports, politics or exercise and — yes — some sites allow and a few even encourage flirting.  There’s nothing wrong with any of these reasons to meet new people. What’s important is that the services be used appropriately.

Some of these services are open to teens as well as adults, though all require members to be at least 13-years old.  It’s natural for parents to be concerned if you think your teen is using a service that could put them in touch with strangers, but before you react, find out not only if your teen is using such a service, but how they are using it.  Just as with all good things in life, there are, of course, risky ways to use social discovery services.  But there are also ways to use these services more safely. Nothing in life (including going to school or hanging out at home) is 100% safe, but by following some simple guidelines and using common sense, you can greatly minimize the chances of anything unpleasant.

Getting together

The most obvious advice is to be very careful before getting together with someone you meet online.  If you do, it should be in a public place and be sure to tell someone  – preferably the teen’s parents where you’re going and who you’re meeting with.  It’s a good idea to bring along friends or a parent for the first meeting. Don’t even think about a meeting until you feel at least somewhat comfortable with the person after perhaps chatting by phone and/or video.  But even if you think they’re great, don’t take any chances. Always arrange the first meeting in a public place and don’t get into a car with the person or go to a private place until after you’ve met at least a couple of times in public.

Limit location information

Some social discovery apps use your phone’s GPS and other location technologies to display where you are. While it may be OK to display your general area (like your city), it’s not OK to display your specific location, except to people you already trust.  Find out how specific the location feature is and if it’s too specific, turn it off.  Even the name of your “city,” can be problematic if you’re in a small town.

Share with care

Also be careful when it comes to contact information. Don’t include your cell phone or land-line (if you have one) and if you’re going to share an email address, make it a throw-way one, like an extra Gmail, Yahoo or Hotmail account that’s separate from your main email.

It’s also generally not a good idea to share your full name on a social discovery site. Facebook requires you to use a real name but Facebook is not designed to meet strangers. It’s mostly for people you already know. Also be careful with how much you share about your family situation and other people. First of all, you should respect other people’s privacy, including your friends and family. Second, giving out too much information could be misused in some cases.  Stay friendly, talk about common interests but be at least somewhat discrete when it comes to your family and friends.

Be honest about your age

These sites generally ask for your date of birth and it’s best to truthful.  For one thing, it keeps kids under 13 off the site, which is important because these services clearly are not aimed at preteens. It can also help the site provide special protections for teens,  as some do and it can help assure that you engage in age-appropriate discussions with people about your own age. And, if you’re caught lying (and that does happen) you could be kicked off the site.

User name and passwords

Pick a neutral nickname.  Don’t use a provocative or “sexy” nickname. It sends out the wrong message and encourages harassment. Never give out your password. This applies to all types of sites and services. Here are some more password tips from ConnectSafely.org.

Beware of tell-tale signs

Most people who use social discovery services just want to meet new people and have only good intentions but there are always going to be some people who try to exploit or even harm others. Be careful about people who come on too strong or who immediately become your best friend or confidant. Flags to worry about include offers of gifts, excessive flattery or asking you things like “are your parents around.” Be wary of anyone who tries to exploit any disagreements or issues you have with your parents or significant others.  But even if you don’t observe any of these signs, you still need to follow the rest of our advice.

Bullying, Sexting and reputation management, oh my

Statistically, the biggest “dangers” associated with all forms of social networking (social discovery included) have nothing to do with physical safety. While we don’t want to exaggerate these issues either, it’s important to be aware that teens can sometimes suffer psychological pain or wind up posting something that they later regret.  ConnectSafely.org, SafeKids.com and other Internet safety sites have plenty of advice on these and other issues that affect today’s online teens.

Report abuse

Most services have a way of reporting anything that makes you feel uncomfortable. Don’t hesitate to use the service’s report abuse tools and make sure they respond. If they don’t follow up in a reasonable amount of time, stop using the service, but don’t necessarily assume that all concerns will be addressed. Services each have their own guidelines and sometimes things that bother people aren’t necessarily covered by their guidelines or terms of service.

Parent/teen  conversations promote safety more than any “tool” 

The best parental safety tool is having calm conversations with your teen while keeping an open mind. Of course you have advice for them, but before you tell them what you think they need to know, find out what they do know. It may surprise you to learn that they’re already thinking about safety or you might discover some gaps that need reinforcing.  But keep calm and try not to overreact.

For more advice on social discovery and online safety, visit:

ConnectSafely.org        SafeKids.com

SocialSafety.org           NetFamilyNews 

The all-new guide shows how to take advantage of the service’s safety features and privacy controls, while emphasizing the positive things that young people are doing on Facebook.

The guide covers:

• Configuring Facebook’s new timeline
• How to review your activity log
• Using “in-line privacy”
• Using Facebook’s “social reporting” tools to resolve problems
• How to protect your online reputation
• Safe use of Facebook mobile
• And much more

Click to read or print  A Parents Guide to Facebook

For the most part, parents do have a clue when it comes to helping their kids stay safe online.

FOSI commissioned Hart Research Associates to interview 702 parents of children eight to 17. The study, which has a margin of error of plus/minus 3.7%, found that “Nearly all parents surveyed (96%) say they have had a conversation with their child about what to do and not to do online.”

Controls have their place

But that’s not to say parental controls tools don’t have their place. Just over half the parents (53%) said that they do use some type of tool to control or monitor their child’s online behavior using products ranging from filtering programs on their PC that limit what sites a child can visit to services that monitor children’s activities online or on mobile devices.

Even though 47% of parents don’t use these tools, 87% of them are aware that such tools are available for personal computers, but parents are less likely to use and be aware of parental control tools on other devices that kids use to go online. For example, while 75% of parents feel very or somewhat comfortable about monitoring their kids’ online use, awareness of parental controls drops to 37% for game consoles (44% among parents whose kids use consoles to access the Internet). Just over a third (35%) of parents say they are “aware of parental controls offered by wireless companies” and only 39% of parents whose child uses a smartphone to access the Internet “say they know of parental control technologies,” according to the study. Just over half (51%) of parents said that their child uses something other than a computer to access the Internet.

Parents set rules

It’s good news that 93% of parents say they have set rules or limits on their children’s online with nearly eight out of 10 (79%) saying that they only allow kids to use a computer in a common area of the house rather than a bedroom. Of course, in an era when many kids are using laptops or even tablets and phones to go online, I’m not sure if parents can easily enforce that rule, but at least they’re thinking about it.

Three quarters of the parents (75%) have rules for how much time or the time of day their kids can be online but as kids get older, parents become more relaxed about these rules. Whether that is a good or bad thing depends on the child. Many teens have pretty well developed internal “filters between their ears,” but there are some who actually take more risks than younger children. While monitoring teen behavior is always trickier than monitoring behavior of young children, it’s sometimes even more necessary, though often an occasional conversation is all that’s needed.

Family ‘Online Safety Contract‘

Ten percent of the parents said they have signed a “family online safety contract” that outlines rules and expectations. Several years ago I created separate online safety pledges for kids and parents.

(Source: Family Online Safety Institute)

The fact that nearly half parents sampled don’t use parental control tools isn’t necessarily a bad thing. When asked why, the most common reason was that they’re not necessary, “either because of rules and limits already in place (60%), and/or because they trust their child to be safe (30%).”

I completely understand where these parents were coming from. Even though I was one of the first people on the planet to test out parental controls in the nineties when my kids were young (and testified as to their efficacy in a federal court trial), my wife and I elected not to use them at our house because we preferred more old fashioned “tools” like frequent conversations with our kids and placing computers in public areas of the house.

Filters and monitoring tools can be a valuable resource and I urge parents to at least think about including them in their vast arsenal of parenting tools, but I also urge parents to never rely on them as the only safeguard. The best way to protect your kids online is to talk with them about their Internet use and anything else on their minds. Have dinner together as a family, ask your kids what’s going on in their lives and be as non-judgmental as appropriate so your kids trust you and confide in you. Studies have shown that – despite outward appearances – children and even teenagers heavily rely on their parents for advice and guidance.

Besides, with any luck your kid will someday grow up and move somewhere where there are no filters, no monitoring programs and no parents over their shoulder. Let’s just hope that, by then, that filter between their ears is well developed.

For more on internet safety visit Larry’s SafeKids.com blog and ConnectSafely.org

Trend Micro giving away $10,000 to best Internet safety video (credit: Trend Micro)

Computer Security firm Trend Micro has an offer for any teen or adult who cares about Internet safety and security and wants to become an award winning filmmaker. The company has launched a contest called “What’s Your Story,” where the person who submits the best short video (no more than 2 minutes) can win $10,000. There are also four $500 prizes.

The deadline is April 30^th and only residents of the U.S. and Canada 13 or older are eligible to win.

Entries must be about one of these four topics:

• Keeping a good rep online (avoiding embarrassing photos, videos or postings)
• Staying clear of unwanted contact (including bullies)
• Accessing (legal) content that’s age-appropriate (avoiding sites are “offensive, violent, pornographic, full of foul language, or inappropriate for certain ages)
• Keeping the cybercriminals out (computer security issues like identity theft, scams, spam, viruses and other bad stuff)

You don’t need a fancy video camera. A webcam, a cell phone video camera or something like the Cisco Flip Camera will do.

Although the contest is open to anyone over 13, I’m hoping there are lots of entries from teenagers. This is an opportunity for teens to share their own experiences and thoughts about Internet safety with their peers which can be a lot more effective than lectures from adults.  Still, parents, teachers and older students are also encouraged to enter but contributions from teens are strongly encouraged.

All submitted videos will be posted on the site after being checked for appropriateness.  People who submit are encouraged to promote their own videos with links on their social networking pages, blogs, etc.  Judges will consider number of views not only as a way of promoting awareness but also giving filmmakers real-world experience in marketing and promotion.

The contest’s website has sample videos to give contestants ideas.

Contest judges include representatives of non-profit Internet safety organizations including Common Sense Media, Identify Theft Resource Center and ConnectSafely.org where I serve as co-director. And yes, I’ll be one of the judges. (Trend Micro provides financial support to ConnectSafely.org.)

ConnectSafely can’t enter the contest, but here’s one we commissioned that I think is pretty funny:

The FTC's excellent Internet safety booklet "Net Cetera"

The Federal Trade Commission has published an excellent guide for parents about helping kids and teens stay safe and protect their privacy and reputation online and on mobile devices. The booket covers sexting, cyberbullying, texting, computer security, parental controls and pre-teen privacy.

The free booklet, called Net Cetera: Chatting with Kids About Being Online,” is available free in printed form or as a downloadable and printable PDF (scroll down for link). You can also order free printed copies in English or Spanish.

Here is the beginning portion of the booklet with a link where you can continue reading.

Start early

After all, even toddlers see their parents use all kinds of devices. As soon as your child is using a computer, a cell phone or any mobile device, it’s time to talk to them about online behavior, safety, and security. As a parent, you have the opportunity to talk to your kid about what’s important before anyone else does.

An honest, open environment.

Kids look to their parents to help guide them. Be supportive and positive. Listening and taking their feelings into account helps keep conversation afloat. You may not have all the answers, and being honest about that can go a long way.

Initiate conversations.

Even if your kids are comfortable approaching you, don’t wait for them to start the conversation. Use everyday opportunities to talk to your kids about being online. For instance, a TV program featuring a teen online or using a cell phone can tee up a discussion about what to do—or not— in similar circumstances. News stories about internet scams or cyberbullying, for example, also can help start a conversation with kids about their experiences and your expectations. Even if your kids are comfortable approaching you, don’t wait for them to start the conversation. Use everyday opportunities to talk to your kids about being online. For instance, a TV program featuring a teen online or using a cell phone can tee up a discussion about what to do—or not— in similar circumstances. News stories about internet scams or cyberbullying, for example, also can help start a conversation with kids about their experiences and your expectations.

Communicate your values.

Be upfront about your values and how they apply in an online context. Communicating your values clearly can help your kids make smarter and more thoughtful decisions when they face tricky situations.

Be patient.

Resist the urge to rush through conversations with your kids. Most kids need to hear information repeated, in small doses, for it to sink in. If you keep talking with your kids, your patience and persistence will pay off in the long run. Work hard to keep the lines of communication open, even if you learn your kid has done something online you find inappropriate.

Read more & download the PDF from the FTC’s OnGuardOnline site

This is my first post at SafeKids.com and it was generated by a question from a reporter: “I am currently working on a story about the explosion of Facebook and other social networking sites and their use by both students and teachers (and what free speech implications that has for teachers), as well as how school districts are reacting to students having smartphones (that can do more than just make calls).”  Here is what I said:

The power of these new social networking technologies is flat out amazing. One only needs to consider the recent events in Iran to be struck with the understanding of how profoundly our society has and will be changed by these technologies. Sure the Church and the Crown were concerned about the invention of the printing press. With good reason. The invention of the printing press led to reformation, the scientific revolution, and democracy.

What these technologies are doing is challenging the hierarchical authoritarian-based structures in our society. We are changing to a network-based, community-based society.

And this brings us to schools. Currently, most schools function as strict hierarchies. But they don’t have to. For decades, astute educational leaders have been arguing that schools would function better as learning communities. Where instead of being the “sage on the stage,” the teacher acts more as the “guide by the side.”  Where learning is relevant – and student directed. Where the focus is on learning how to learn and find information – not regurgitation of facts. Where collaboration is viewed as a desired objective – not cheating.

Innovative schools across this country are shifting to the use of the web 2.0 interactive technologies – as they must. It is impossible to prepare children for their future in classrooms that were designed to serve our past.

Unfortunately, some schools are reacting to all of this by trying to impose greater control. Hierarchical forms of control are doomed to failure. Filtering software was supposed to provide schools with the ability to prevent students from accessing certain sites. Guess what? The same bypassing technologies that allowed the Iranians to bypass their country’s filters are being used by students across this country to bypass the filters that schools are wasting millions of dollars for. Think I am wrong? Google the terms “bypass Internet filter.” Close to 700,000 hits.

The wise educational leaders in our society are providing the insight to shift our schools into this new mode. The school leaders who seek to retain their power, their authority, their control will ultimately fail. Just like the shah of Iran.

There is a growing community of professionals who are seeking to respond to the challenges of the risks that young people do face online – but with an understanding of the source of those risks (the young people at the greatest risk online are the ones who are already at greater risk offline) as well as a profound respect for the incredible benefits to our society presented by these empowerment technologies.

Nancy Willard executive director of the Center for Safe and Responsible Internet Use, is a recognized authority on issues related to the safe and responsible use of the Internet.

For years the attendance at those events was quite sparse but interest started to pick up about three years ago after all the publicity of supposed predators on MySpace. Even though that “predator panic” turned out to be greatly exaggerated, there remains a fairly strong interest by parents wanting to know how to keep their kids safe online.

Of course, I’m all in favor of kids being safe and delighted that parents are expressing an interest in their children’s well being, but I think it may be time to put an end to school Internet safety nights. What we need instead are parent workshops dedicated to how kids are using interactive technology.

Call it Tech Parenting 2.0 or perhaps just “get a clue.” Whatever you call it, it’s time to put Internet safety into a larger context. And instead of mostly using police officers (as is often the case) or even “Internet safety experts” like me as presenters, they should get the kids involved. Almost every time I’ve listened to teens talk about how they use technology, I come away impressed and informed.

And we certainly don’t need an expert to read off a list of dos and don’t. Parents should instead be encouraged to understand how their kids are using technology – not to block it or control it — but to embrace it and explore it with them so that they can better engage in a family conversation about the use and misuse of technology.

Internet safety can’t be taught in a vacuum anymore than you can teach “book safety” or “pencil safety,” though I’m willing to bet that more people have been injured by sharp pencils than by the Internet.

What keeps young people safe online is not so much learning to regurgitate a set of adult prescribed rules, but empowering them to protect themselves by teaching critical thinking, media literacy and online ethics.

Critical thinking can also go a long way towards helping kids avoid risky or aggressive behavior by helping them think through the implications of their actions. Whether it’s posting something that could embarrass them later or saying something hurtful to a peer.

Media literacy includes knowing how to take advantage of good information that is coming at you while learning how to use the filter in your brain to avoid that which is incorrect, incomplete, irrelevant, harmful or just plain stupid. It can be as complex as teaching kids to evaluate the credibility of sources or as simple as learning how to distinguish between truth and those all-too-common “urban myths” that float around the Internet.

When it comes to digital ethics, we need to work with kids to treat themselves and others with respect. That means treating others as they want to be treated which obviously includes avoiding bullying and harassing others.

WASHINGTON — Last year, Congress passed the Protecting Children in the 21st Century Act,which called for yet another committee to study Internet safety. By statute, the Online Safety and Technology Working Group (OSTWG) is made up of representatives of the business community, public interest groups and federal agencies. I’m on the committee as co-director of the nonprofit ConnectSafely.org.  ConnectSafely co-director and NetFamilyNews editor Anne Collier serves as co-chairman along with MySpace cheif security officer, Hemanshu Nigam.

The group, which reports to the Department of Commerce’s National Telecommunications and Information Administration, is totally unfunded. The government wasn’t even able to buy us lunch, let alone plane tickets to Washington. But I’m not complaining. It’s an honor to have even a small role in helping to shape national Internet safety policy.

To be honest, I was a bit skeptical when I first heard about the working group, wondering why we needed yet another committee to look at this topic. In 2000, the “COPA Commission,” created by the Children’s Online Protection Act of 1998, issued a very comprehensive report, and last year I was privileged to serve on the Internet Safety Technical Task Force — created by attorneys general of nearly every state.

The task force issued a report debunking myths about Internet safety, concluding that kids are more at risk from other kids than from so-called Internet predators. That finding was rejected by several of the state attorneys general who received it. South Carolina Attorney General Henry McMaster said the report’s findings were “as disturbing as they are wrong,” adding that “the conclusions in this report create a troubling false sense of security on the issue of child Internet safety.”

But I think the report was both accurate and insightful. It recognized that Internet safety is too complicated to be reduced to sound bites and sensationalist TV shows, and that most of the kids who get in trouble online also get in trouble offline. The Internet may amplify dangers, but it doesn’t create them.

I’m not aware of any federal Internet safety commissions that met during the Bush administration. From what I can tell, that administration paid very little attention to Internet safety other than to add to the exaggerations and fear-mongering about so-called Internet predators.

So is there any point in taking yet another look at Internet safety? Yes, if only because things have changed dramatically over the past few months. To begin with, we have a new administration led by a president who actually understands the Internet as well as the constitutional issues that arise whenever government tries to control online speech, access or even safety.

When the new working group convened Thursday, our first speaker was Susan Crawford, who works at the White House as special assistant to the president for science, technology and innovation policy. A law professor and founder of OneWebDay, Crawford brings a refreshing understanding of the government’s need to balance safety and security with civil liberties, privacy and even the First Amendment rights of minors.

Her opening remarks helped set the tone for the group by admonishing us to “avoid overheated rhetoric about risks to kids online,” pointing out that “risks kids face online may not be significantly different than the risks they face offline.”

She also reminded us that “the risks are more subtle than the press would have us believe,” and that we need to avoid trying to find “silver bullets” and recommending policy based on “anecdotes.” Finally she pointed out that we need to be careful to avoid “tech mandates.” While the working group will research the efficacy of technology tools to help protect kids, Crawford repeated something that I have been saying for 12 years: “The best software (to protect kids) is between the ears,” not on a device.

The working group will be divided into four subcommittees: child pornography reporting, data retention, protection technology and education. I will chair the education subcommittee and look forward to hearing from companies, educators, nonprofits and anyone else who has ideas about how to educate America’s youth to keep on using the Internet productively and safely. If you have ideas, please feel free to share them.

by Larry Magid

A long awaited report from the Internet Safety Technical Task Force concludes that children and teens are less vulnerable to sexual predation than many have feared. The report also questions the efficacy and necessity of some commonly prescribed remedies designed to protect young people.

The task force was formed as a result of a joint agreement between MySpace and 49 state attorneys general.

Over the past couple of years, several state AGs have been looking into potential dangers to youth, and some have called for social-network sites to use age verification technology to confirm the ages of users in an attempt to prevent adults from or interacting online with minors. The task force includes representatives of Internet and social-networking companies, security and identity authentication vendors, and nonprofit advocacy organizations. It’s chaired by John Palfrey of Harvard Law School’s Berkman Center for Internet and Society.

Disclosure: I served as a member of the task force, representing ConnectSafely.org, a nonprofit internet safety organization I co-founded along with Anne Collier. ConnectSafely receives financial support from MySpace, Facebook, Google, Yahoo, and other Internet and social-networking companies. I am also founder of SafeKids.com and am on the board of directors of the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children, which is represented on the task force.

Based on data analyzed by its Research Advisory Board, the task force concluded that “actual threats that youth may face appear to be different than the threats most people imagine” and that “the image presented by the media of an older male deceiving and preying on a young child does not paint an accurate picture of the nature of the majority of sexual solicitations and Internet-initiated offline encounters.”

While the task force found that youth risk from predators is a concern, the overwhelming majority of youth are not in danger of being harmed by an adult predator they meet online. To the extent that young people have received an unwanted online sexual solicitation, data from a 2000 study and a 2006 follow-up from the Crimes Against Children Research Center concludes that “youth identify most sexual solicitors as being other adolescents (48 percent in 2000; 43 percent in 2006) or young adults between the ages of 18 and 21 (20 percent; 30 percent), with few (4 percent; 9 percent) coming from older adults, and the remaining being of unknown age.”

What the task force did find is that “bullying and harassment, most often by peers, are the most salient threats that minors face, both online and offline.” Partially because researchers can’t agree on a definition of bullying and harassment, the actual risk is hard to quantify, but it is clearly much higher than the risk of being harmed by a predator. Some studies suggest that as many as 49 percent of youth have experienced some type of bullying or harassment. In many cases no serious emotional or physical harm occurred. However, a study by Michelle Ybarra and Janice Wolak found that “39 percent of victims reported emotional distress over being harassed online.”

There is also a widespread belief that deception is often involved where adults pose as teens to engage with young people, but research shows that that’s rarely the case. The report found that “although identity deception may occur online, it does not appear to play a large role in criminal cases in which adult sex offenders have been arrested for sex crimes in which they met victims online.” Interviews with police show that “most victims are underage adolescents who know they are going to meet adults for sexual encounters.” This does not imply that such relationships are healthy or safe, nor that we should blame the victims or tolerate the actions of adults who engage in sex with minors. But it does suggest that child safety advocates need to take a more proactive role in helping teens understand the risk of seeking engaging in relationships with adults.

Importantly, the task force found that online risks “are not radically different in nature or scope than the risks minors have long faced offline, and minors who are most at risk in the offline world continue to be most at risk online.” For example, “a poor home environment full of conflict and poor parent-child relationships is correlated with a host of online risks.”

The attorneys general who called for the task force were anxious for us to study the efficacy of using age verification to help limit inappropriate contact between adults and children online. To help in that job, the task force formed a technical advisory board (TAB) composed of technology experts from Harvard, MIT, Dartmouth, University of Massachusetts, University of Utah, Rochester Institute of Technology, and Bank of America. This board looked at a wide range of technologies including age verification and identity authentication, filtering and auditing, text analysis, and biometrics.

What the TAB found was that age verification technology can be used to identify adults and therefore help prevent minors from engaging in adult-only activities such as accessing adult content or purchasing alcohol or tobacco. There were several technologies submitted by companies that could identify adults based on accessible records such as credit reports, criminal history, and real estate transactions, but these relatively automated systems cannot reliably identify or verify the age of minors because, as the TAB concluded, “public records of minors range from quite limited to nonexistent.” Documentation about young people such as birth certificates, passports, and school records are restricted by federal law for some very good privacy and security reasons.

Age verification options presented by some companies would allow parents to request that their child’s school verify his or her identity and age, but these proposals have their own critics including those who worry about the cost, the possibility of privacy or security leaks, and the financial model presented in some cases that includes providing marketers with information about kids.

The TAB also looked at “peer-based” verification schemes that “allow peers in a community to vote, recommend, or rate whether a person is in an appropriate age group based on relationships and personal knowledge established offline” but worried that with these methods “users can vote as many times as they wish to artificially raise or lower a peer rating.” There were concerns that “minors might organize against another minor in their ratings or recommendations in an online form of bullying.”

At one task force meeting, a company presented technology that tries to distinguish between an adult and a child by analyzing the bone density of the person’s hand. Another tool attempts to identify an individual through facial recognition to match that person against a database of registered sex offenders.

Although the TAB expressed “cautious optimism” about the possibility of using technology to protect kids, it concluded that “every technology has its problems” and that “no single technology reviewed could solve every aspect of online safety for minors, or even one aspect of it one hundred percent of the time.” The bottom line was that “technology can play a role but cannot be the sole input to improved safety for minors online” and that “the most effective technology solution is likely to be a combination of technologies.”

But even if these technologies can be employed effectively, there remains the question of whether they are necessary or helpful. Using technology to separate kids from grown-ups doesn’t address the fact that kids are far more at risk from other kids than from adult predators.

Another danger is that age verification or new rules could be used to keep kids off of social networks or require parental consent. But before issuing rules about this, authorities should explore possible unintended consequences such as isolating kids, causing them to go underground, failing to serve kids from dysfunctional families, and preventing kids from accessing vital services such as the Suicide Prevention Hotline or one of the many online self-help groups.

The task force report will have its critics, including possibly some attorneys general and others who feel that it underestimates the risk of online predators. Indeed, sting operations from law enforcement (as well as the TV show To Catch a Predator) demonstrate that there are plenty of adults who, if given the chance, would engage in sex with youth they meet online. But, based on the research presented to the task force, it appears that the vast majority of young people are savvy enough to avoid such encounters.

Still, there remains a minority of youth who–for a variety of psychological and social reasons–are vulnerable both online and offline. More research needs to be done to identify these young people and provide them with resources and protective services. The fact that most kids are safe is reassuring but it’s not sufficient. If even one child is in danger, then there is work to be done, and that is one thing everyone who cares about this issue can agree on.

It’s New Year’s Eve, and your teen is all decked out and ready for a big party. She’s got her iPhone, BlackBerry, or some other cell phone with a camera in her pocketbook. And she’s ready to roll. You’re glad she’s got these gadgets so you can get in touch with her. You tell her to call to check in, to let you know she got there safely, to ask for permission to stay later. She agrees. You give her a quick hug and run upstairs to get ready for your own party to celebrate the arrival of a new beginning. You even remember to put the new digital camera you got for Christmas by your purse so you don’t forget it.

Of course, you talked to your teen about not drinking, not driving too fast, and not staying out past curfew.

Did you chat with her about all the photos that she and her friends will take with those gadgets? Photos that might have her kissing another girl on a dare, doing a shot with her best (boy)friend, flashing for the camera as the new year rings in.

Did you chat with her about all the photos that she or her friends might want to put up on their MySpace or Facebook page?

Myspace, Facebook? That’s all that techie stuff the kids do … what will you say, what can you say?

Too often it seems too complicated to talk to your teens about online safety. After all, it’s the online world and they know it better than you do. But is it? Did you know how a car engine works, what the transmission does, or how an airbag gets deployed when the car bumps something at 30 mph? Yet, you got right in there and taught your teen how to drive. Correction, you taught your teen how to drive safely.

And that is exactly what we’re talking about – teaching your teen how to drive online safely. You’ve done it all your life – these lessons on safety. “Look before you cross, don’t talk to strangers, respect your friends and neighbors, don’t go anywhere alone”.

The world may have changed, but the lessons are still the same. Don’t stop the dialogue.

Here’s a way to start an online safety dialogue:

1. Start a Conversation

Talk to your kids about why they use MySpace, how they communicate with others, and how they represent themselves online. Recognize the importance of social networking in their daily lives, similar to that of cell phones, email, or instant messenger, and express an interest in understanding the role it plays.

2. Talk About MySpace and the Internet

* MySpace, like the rest of the online world, is a public space. Members shouldn’t post anything they wouldn’t want the world to know (e.g., phone number, address, IM screen name, or specific whereabouts).
* Remind them not to post any photos that could embarrass them in the future or expose them to danger. Although MySpace is public, teens sometimes forget that the information and photos they post are accessible to others. A good way to explain it — tell your teens they should avoid posting anything they wouldn’t be willing to share in front of a school assembly.

3. Remind Teens to Be Cautious

* Just as in the offline world, people aren’t always who they say they are. Remind your teens to be careful about adding strangers to their friends list. It’s fun to connect with new MySpace friends from all over the world, but members should be cautious when communicating with people they don’t know.
* Encourage teens to be themselves, but to exercise the same basic safety principles they do in the physical world. They wouldn’t chat with a stranger at the mall or give someone they don’t know their cell phone number. Remind them that reckless online behavior can be just as dangerous.
* They should talk to you if they want to meet an online friend in person, and if you think its safe, any meeting should take place in public, with friends or a trusted adult present.

Remember, you’re the parent in the offline and online worlds. You can do it.