ConnectSafely.org, the non-profit organization where I serve as co-director along with Anne Collier, has just released A Parents Guide to Facebook (PDF), a free 36-page downloadable guide to help parents and their kids get the most from the world’s largest social networking service.

The all-new guide shows how to take advantage of the service’s safety features and privacy controls, while emphasizing the positive things that young people are doing on Facebook.

The guide covers:

• Configuring Facebook’s new timeline
• How to review your activity log
• Using “in-line privacy”
• Using Facebook’s “social reporting” tools to resolve problems
• How to protect your online reputation
• Safe use of Facebook mobile
• And much more

Click to read or print  A Parents Guide to Facebook

For many years I have said that the best way to protect children on the Internet is to develop the filter that runs in the computer between their ears and, based on a recent survey commissioned by the Family Online Safety Institute (FOSI), a lot of parents apparently agree.

For the most part, parents do have a clue when it comes to helping their kids stay safe online.

FOSI commissioned Hart Research Associates to interview 702 parents of children eight to 17. The study, which has a margin of error of plus/minus 3.7%, found that “Nearly all parents surveyed (96%) say they have had a conversation with their child about what to do and not to do online.”

Controls have their place

But that’s not to say parental controls tools don’t have their place. Just over half the parents (53%) said that they do use some type of tool to control or monitor their child’s online behavior using products ranging from filtering programs on their PC that limit what sites a child can visit to services that monitor children’s activities online or on mobile devices.

Even though 47% of parents don’t use these tools, 87% of them are aware that such tools are available for personal computers, but parents are less likely to use and be aware of parental control tools on other devices that kids use to go online. For example, while 75% of parents feel very or somewhat comfortable about monitoring their kids’ online use, awareness of parental controls drops to 37% for game consoles (44% among parents whose kids use consoles to access the Internet). Just over a third (35%) of parents say they are “aware of parental controls offered by wireless companies” and only 39% of parents whose child uses a smartphone to access the Internet “say they know of parental control technologies,” according to the study. Just over half (51%) of parents said that their child uses something other than a computer to access the Internet.

Parents set rules

It’s good news that 93% of parents say they have set rules or limits on their children’s online with nearly eight out of 10 (79%) saying that they only allow kids to use a computer in a common area of the house rather than a bedroom. Of course, in an era when many kids are using laptops or even tablets and phones to go online, I’m not sure if parents can easily enforce that rule, but at least they’re thinking about it.

Three quarters of the parents (75%) have rules for how much time or the time of day their kids can be online but as kids get older, parents become more relaxed about these rules. Whether that is a good or bad thing depends on the child. Many teens have pretty well developed internal “filters between their ears,” but there are some who actually take more risks than younger children. While monitoring teen behavior is always trickier than monitoring behavior of young children, it’s sometimes even more necessary, though often an occasional conversation is all that’s needed.

Family ‘Online Safety Contract‘

Ten percent of the parents said they have signed a “family online safety contract” that outlines rules and expectations. Several years ago I created separate online safety pledges for kids and parents.

(Source: Family Online Safety Institute)

The fact that nearly half parents sampled don’t use parental control tools isn’t necessarily a bad thing. When asked why, the most common reason was that they’re not necessary, “either because of rules and limits already in place (60%), and/or because they trust their child to be safe (30%).”

I completely understand where these parents were coming from. Even though I was one of the first people on the planet to test out parental controls in the nineties when my kids were young (and testified as to their efficacy in a federal court trial), my wife and I elected not to use them at our house because we preferred more old fashioned “tools” like frequent conversations with our kids and placing computers in public areas of the house.

Filters and monitoring tools can be a valuable resource and I urge parents to at least think about including them in their vast arsenal of parenting tools, but I also urge parents to never rely on them as the only safeguard. The best way to protect your kids online is to talk with them about their Internet use and anything else on their minds. Have dinner together as a family, ask your kids what’s going on in their lives and be as non-judgmental as appropriate so your kids trust you and confide in you. Studies have shown that – despite outward appearances – children and even teenagers heavily rely on their parents for advice and guidance.

Besides, with any luck your kid will someday grow up and move somewhere where there are no filters, no monitoring programs and no parents over their shoulder. Let’s just hope that, by then, that filter between their ears is well developed.

For more on internet safety visit Larry’s SafeKids.com blog and ConnectSafely.org

Trend Micro giving away $10,000 to best Internet safety video (credit: Trend Micro)

Computer Security firm Trend Micro has an offer for any teen or adult who cares about Internet safety and security and wants to become an award winning filmmaker. The company has launched a contest called “What’s Your Story,” where the person who submits the best short video (no more than 2 minutes) can win $10,000. There are also four $500 prizes.

The deadline is April 30^th and only residents of the U.S. and Canada 13 or older are eligible to win.

Entries must be about one of these four topics:

• Keeping a good rep online (avoiding embarrassing photos, videos or postings)
• Staying clear of unwanted contact (including bullies)
• Accessing (legal) content that’s age-appropriate (avoiding sites are “offensive, violent, pornographic, full of foul language, or inappropriate for certain ages)
• Keeping the cybercriminals out (computer security issues like identity theft, scams, spam, viruses and other bad stuff)

You don’t need a fancy video camera. A webcam, a cell phone video camera or something like the Cisco Flip Camera will do.

Although the contest is open to anyone over 13, I’m hoping there are lots of entries from teenagers. This is an opportunity for teens to share their own experiences and thoughts about Internet safety with their peers which can be a lot more effective than lectures from adults.  Still, parents, teachers and older students are also encouraged to enter but contributions from teens are strongly encouraged.

All submitted videos will be posted on the site after being checked for appropriateness.  People who submit are encouraged to promote their own videos with links on their social networking pages, blogs, etc.  Judges will consider number of views not only as a way of promoting awareness but also giving filmmakers real-world experience in marketing and promotion.

The contest’s website has sample videos to give contestants ideas.

Contest judges include representatives of non-profit Internet safety organizations including Common Sense Media, Identify Theft Resource Center and ConnectSafely.org where I serve as co-director. And yes, I’ll be one of the judges. (Trend Micro provides financial support to ConnectSafely.org.)

ConnectSafely can’t enter the contest, but here’s one we commissioned that I think is pretty funny:

The FTC's excellent Internet safety booklet "Net Cetera"

The Federal Trade Commission has published an excellent guide for parents about helping kids and teens stay safe and protect their privacy and reputation online and on mobile devices. The booket covers sexting, cyberbullying, texting, computer security, parental controls and pre-teen privacy.

The free booklet, called Net Cetera: Chatting with Kids About Being Online,” is available free in printed form or as a downloadable and printable PDF (scroll down for link). You can also order free printed copies in English or Spanish.

Here is the beginning portion of the booklet with a link where you can continue reading.

Start early

After all, even toddlers see their parents use all kinds of devices. As soon as your child is using a computer, a cell phone or any mobile device, it’s time to talk to them about online behavior, safety, and security. As a parent, you have the opportunity to talk to your kid about what’s important before anyone else does.

An honest, open environment.

Kids look to their parents to help guide them. Be supportive and positive. Listening and taking their feelings into account helps keep conversation afloat. You may not have all the answers, and being honest about that can go a long way.

Initiate conversations.

Even if your kids are comfortable approaching you, don’t wait for them to start the conversation. Use everyday opportunities to talk to your kids about being online. For instance, a TV program featuring a teen online or using a cell phone can tee up a discussion about what to do—or not— in similar circumstances. News stories about internet scams or cyberbullying, for example, also can help start a conversation with kids about their experiences and your expectations. Even if your kids are comfortable approaching you, don’t wait for them to start the conversation. Use everyday opportunities to talk to your kids about being online. For instance, a TV program featuring a teen online or using a cell phone can tee up a discussion about what to do—or not— in similar circumstances. News stories about internet scams or cyberbullying, for example, also can help start a conversation with kids about their experiences and your expectations.

Communicate your values.

Be upfront about your values and how they apply in an online context. Communicating your values clearly can help your kids make smarter and more thoughtful decisions when they face tricky situations.

Be patient.

Resist the urge to rush through conversations with your kids. Most kids need to hear information repeated, in small doses, for it to sink in. If you keep talking with your kids, your patience and persistence will pay off in the long run. Work hard to keep the lines of communication open, even if you learn your kid has done something online you find inappropriate.

Read more & download the PDF from the FTC’s OnGuardOnline site

by Nancy Willard

This is my first post at SafeKids.com and it was generated by a question from a reporter: “I am currently working on a story about the explosion of Facebook and other social networking sites and their use by both students and teachers (and what free speech implications that has for teachers), as well as how school districts are reacting to students having smartphones (that can do more than just make calls).”  Here is what I said:

The power of these new social networking technologies is flat out amazing. One only needs to consider the recent events in Iran to be struck with the understanding of how profoundly our society has and will be changed by these technologies. Sure the Church and the Crown were concerned about the invention of the printing press. With good reason. The invention of the printing press led to reformation, the scientific revolution, and democracy.

What these technologies are doing is challenging the hierarchical authoritarian-based structures in our society. We are changing to a network-based, community-based society.

And this brings us to schools. Currently, most schools function as strict hierarchies. But they don’t have to. For decades, astute educational leaders have been arguing that schools would function better as learning communities. Where instead of being the “sage on the stage,” the teacher acts more as the “guide by the side.”  Where learning is relevant – and student directed. Where the focus is on learning how to learn and find information – not regurgitation of facts. Where collaboration is viewed as a desired objective – not cheating.

Innovative schools across this country are shifting to the use of the web 2.0 interactive technologies – as they must. It is impossible to prepare children for their future in classrooms that were designed to serve our past.

Unfortunately, some schools are reacting to all of this by trying to impose greater control. Hierarchical forms of control are doomed to failure. Filtering software was supposed to provide schools with the ability to prevent students from accessing certain sites. Guess what? The same bypassing technologies that allowed the Iranians to bypass their country’s filters are being used by students across this country to bypass the filters that schools are wasting millions of dollars for. Think I am wrong? Google the terms “bypass Internet filter.” Close to 700,000 hits.

The wise educational leaders in our society are providing the insight to shift our schools into this new mode. The school leaders who seek to retain their power, their authority, their control will ultimately fail. Just like the shah of Iran.

There is a growing community of professionals who are seeking to respond to the challenges of the risks that young people do face online – but with an understanding of the source of those risks (the young people at the greatest risk online are the ones who are already at greater risk offline) as well as a profound respect for the incredible benefits to our society presented by these empowerment technologies.

Nancy Willard executive director of the Center for Safe and Responsible Internet Use, is a recognized authority on issues related to the safe and responsible use of the Internet.

For years the attendance at those events was quite sparse but interest started to pick up about three years ago after all the publicity of supposed predators on MySpace. Even though that “predator panic” turned out to be greatly exaggerated, there remains a fairly strong interest by parents wanting to know how to keep their kids safe online.

Of course, I’m all in favor of kids being safe and delighted that parents are expressing an interest in their children’s well being, but I think it may be time to put an end to school Internet safety nights. What we need instead are parent workshops dedicated to how kids are using interactive technology.

Call it Tech Parenting 2.0 or perhaps just “get a clue.” Whatever you call it, it’s time to put Internet safety into a larger context. And instead of mostly using police officers (as is often the case) or even “Internet safety experts” like me as presenters, they should get the kids involved. Almost every time I’ve listened to teens talk about how they use technology, I come away impressed and informed.

And we certainly don’t need an expert to read off a list of dos and don’t. Parents should instead be encouraged to understand how their kids are using technology – not to block it or control it — but to embrace it and explore it with them so that they can better engage in a family conversation about the use and misuse of technology.

Internet safety can’t be taught in a vacuum anymore than you can teach “book safety” or “pencil safety,” though I’m willing to bet that more people have been injured by sharp pencils than by the Internet.

What keeps young people safe online is not so much learning to regurgitate a set of adult prescribed rules, but empowering them to protect themselves by teaching critical thinking, media literacy and online ethics.

Critical thinking can also go a long way towards helping kids avoid risky or aggressive behavior by helping them think through the implications of their actions. Whether it’s posting something that could embarrass them later or saying something hurtful to a peer.

Media literacy includes knowing how to take advantage of good information that is coming at you while learning how to use the filter in your brain to avoid that which is incorrect, incomplete, irrelevant, harmful or just plain stupid. It can be as complex as teaching kids to evaluate the credibility of sources or as simple as learning how to distinguish between truth and those all-too-common “urban myths” that float around the Internet.

When it comes to digital ethics, we need to work with kids to treat themselves and others with respect. That means treating others as they want to be treated which obviously includes avoiding bullying and harassing others.

by Larry Magid

WASHINGTON — Last year, Congress passed the Protecting Children in the 21st Century Act,which called for yet another committee to study Internet safety. By statute, the Online Safety and Technology Working Group (OSTWG) is made up of representatives of the business community, public interest groups and federal agencies. I’m on the committee as co-director of the nonprofit ConnectSafely.org.  ConnectSafely co-director and NetFamilyNews editor Anne Collier serves as co-chairman along with MySpace cheif security officer, Hemanshu Nigam.

The group, which reports to the Department of Commerce’s National Telecommunications and Information Administration, is totally unfunded. The government wasn’t even able to buy us lunch, let alone plane tickets to Washington. But I’m not complaining. It’s an honor to have even a small role in helping to shape national Internet safety policy.

To be honest, I was a bit skeptical when I first heard about the working group, wondering why we needed yet another committee to look at this topic. In 2000, the “COPA Commission,” created by the Children’s Online Protection Act of 1998, issued a very comprehensive report, and last year I was privileged to serve on the Internet Safety Technical Task Force — created by attorneys general of nearly every state.

The task force issued a report debunking myths about Internet safety, concluding that kids are more at risk from other kids than from so-called Internet predators. That finding was rejected by several of the state attorneys general who received it. South Carolina Attorney General Henry McMaster said the report’s findings were “as disturbing as they are wrong,” adding that “the conclusions in this report create a troubling false sense of security on the issue of child Internet safety.”

But I think the report was both accurate and insightful. It recognized that Internet safety is too complicated to be reduced to sound bites and sensationalist TV shows, and that most of the kids who get in trouble online also get in trouble offline. The Internet may amplify dangers, but it doesn’t create them.

I’m not aware of any federal Internet safety commissions that met during the Bush administration. From what I can tell, that administration paid very little attention to Internet safety other than to add to the exaggerations and fear-mongering about so-called Internet predators.

So is there any point in taking yet another look at Internet safety? Yes, if only because things have changed dramatically over the past few months. To begin with, we have a new administration led by a president who actually understands the Internet as well as the constitutional issues that arise whenever government tries to control online speech, access or even safety.

When the new working group convened Thursday, our first speaker was Susan Crawford, who works at the White House as special assistant to the president for science, technology and innovation policy. A law professor and founder of OneWebDay, Crawford brings a refreshing understanding of the government’s need to balance safety and security with civil liberties, privacy and even the First Amendment rights of minors.

Her opening remarks helped set the tone for the group by admonishing us to “avoid overheated rhetoric about risks to kids online,” pointing out that “risks kids face online may not be significantly different than the risks they face offline.”

She also reminded us that “the risks are more subtle than the press would have us believe,” and that we need to avoid trying to find “silver bullets” and recommending policy based on “anecdotes.” Finally she pointed out that we need to be careful to avoid “tech mandates.” While the working group will research the efficacy of technology tools to help protect kids, Crawford repeated something that I have been saying for 12 years: “The best software (to protect kids) is between the ears,” not on a device.

The working group will be divided into four subcommittees: child pornography reporting, data retention, protection technology and education. I will chair the education subcommittee and look forward to hearing from companies, educators, nonprofits and anyone else who has ideas about how to educate America’s youth to keep on using the Internet productively and safely. If you have ideas, please feel free to share them.

by Larry Magid

A long awaited report from the Internet Safety Technical Task Force concludes that children and teens are less vulnerable to sexual predation than many have feared. The report also questions the efficacy and necessity of some commonly prescribed remedies designed to protect young people.

The task force was formed as a result of a joint agreement between MySpace and 49 state attorneys general. › Continue reading…

By Hemanshu Nigam

It’s New Year’s Eve, and your teen is all decked out and ready for a big party. She’s got her iPhone, BlackBerry, or some other cell phone with a camera in her pocketbook. And she’s ready to roll. You’re glad she’s got these gadgets so you can get in touch with her. You tell her to call to check in, to let you know she got there safely, to ask for permission to stay later. She agrees. You give her a quick hug and run upstairs to get ready for your own party to celebrate the arrival of a new beginning. You even remember to put the new digital camera you got for Christmas by your purse so you don’t forget it. › Continue reading…